Word of the Day Online

Secret Weapon on Terror: Sarah Palin

Written by WOTDO

Thursday, 02 October 2008

Sarah Palin Causing a Fatwa

Put On a Skirt & Rule the World!

Some oh so foolishly question Sarah Palin's ability to lead our country but, nonetheless, in one fell swoop she's taken down an international leader simply by wearing a skirt and looking cute. This may be the most efficient U.S. operation ever. A gleeful introduction to a "gorgeous" Sarah Palin and Pakistan's President Asif Ali Zardari's life is at risk. Zealotinous (zealotinous - like gelatinous but more icky than gooey) "religious" leaders in Pakistan have called for a Fatwa (and as Palin would say "I don't know what that is") against the President for his "indecent gestures" towards her.

The thing about indecent gestures is we women have come to expect them. I know if I don't receive my quota of indecent gestures in any given day I feel insecure and like less of a woman.

Overnight stay at the terrorist bombed Marriott in Islamabad = $0
Sarah Palin Kazuo Kawasaki 704 eyeglasses = $345
Flight to Pakistan sans terrorists on board = $2000
Ability to take down international leaders by wearing a short skirt = $Priceless

In reality, it seems that some people are just jealous. Take for instance, radical cleric Maulana Abdul Ghafar who charged that Zardari made "filthy remarks and repeated praise of a non-Muslim lady wearing a short skirt." There's that short skirt again! I like short skirts - they show off one's legs and provide a cool breeze to one's nether regions. To all the fellas out there - have you ever tried on a kilt? I hear it's quite liberating for men once they get over the initial itchiness. (p.s. - you don't HAVE to go commando.)

So what's Ghafar jealous of? He didn't get to meet Sarah Palin. He's seen the pictures. He's heard the chatter. He knows who's hot or not.

I hope this comes up in the debate tonight. That way Palin can saunter out from behind her podium and strut across the stage showing off her legs. And every time our boy Biden says something stupid on foreign policy like "now is a great time to give Iran $200 Million without restriction," Palin can respond "Put a skirt in it, Joe Biden!" as drool drips out of his mouth. Everyone in America will see it - the perfect covert ops weapon for our war on terror! That's right, we'll send Palin to all the rogue nations of the world and watch as evil terrorists and world leaders fall at just the merry sight of her. It's the fiscally conservative approach.

Ah hell, just for fun let's launch an army of short-skirted women footsoldiers. We'll march throughout the lands where'er evil lies. Sign me up.

This whole short skirt thing is a secret us women have known for centuries. Men don't rule the world - women in skirts do. If you've ever been to a bar you have witnessed this first hand by observing, or even engaging in, the subjugation of men. Women wear tight tops and short skirts and stand biting their lower lips, just so, until an unsuspecting male prey enters her path. She steps forward blocking his way. He is entranced by her extreme beauty and envisions chatting and laughing with her for hours as he plies her with drink after drink with the full, complete and heightened expectation that this night will lead to the most glorious union of his life. And, before even one of his two heads can think clearly he is buying his newfound siren a cold one. And then another. And then she dumps him. Who's in charge now beefcake?

This short skirt game is one women have played since we first practiced the power of the pout. Screw this "women only make $.77 on the dollar for what a man makes." Hogwash. If you count up all the drinks we earn in our lifetimes we come out ahead. Way ahead. And for those women who disagree because they are still in the red, shorten your skirt. In this time of economic crisis feel free to take advantage of desperate men who will, without hesitation, continue to support the alcohol industry regardless of whether they can pay their mortgage, car payment or the necessities of life such as food and toilet paper. Plus, in this time of international crisis, it's the American thing to do and you just may take down an evil world leader.

And that's the word of the day - WOTDO

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